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[daemonized]

ARDYN IZUNIA

Ardyn Izunia. Professor of law. Lord of law. Liege of law. The one grading your papers. Leave a message.

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[accordance]

I do not think we will regress if we make an effort to be our own person.

[ But it differs from person to person, he's aware. And that his own circumstance is very much exceptional. ]

What did you receive?

[daemonized]

That is the hope that I cling to, as well.

[He tilts his head slightly.] From Retrospec during the month of August? Or do you mean what memories have graced me since then?

[accordance]

Whichever you're willing to discuss.

[ Given that he knows quite a few people who now have doubts about their past self, he's naturally concerned. ]

I'll share mine as well, of course.

[daemonized]

I have quite a handful, since they last we've had a chance to speak like this.

[He offers her a skewed grin, slightly apologetic.]

I've remembered men and monsters. Degraded throne rooms and piers stretching into clear water. Pick your poison, Lucian.

[accordance]

[ Lucian takes a sip of his tea before setting it back down. ]

I would hope those monsters were not yours.

[ It's a sentence that can be interpreted multiple ways. Monsters of his, monsters for him. Either way would be unfavourable. ]

[daemonized]

Nothing so dark. Not that time.

[That time.

He continues.]

They were called cactuars. Little cactus monsters, with faces, jumping and running about -- shooting needles.

also holy shit your inbox is so huge now

[accordance]

[ That time. ]

They must be awash in chlorophyll. [ A sagely observation. ] But I would suppose they are the least of your worries.

[ What's on your mind? ]

laugh/cry, it sure is

[daemonized]

[He seems amused at the chlorophyll comment, despite the transition into something a bit more serious.]

It's one of the more innocent memories, that's for certain. [Give him a moment to sip at his tea, while he considers how to go about it.]

Another one of my recollections was a throne room -- dark and defiled. Abandoned.

YOURE GOIN SO FAST

[accordance]

[ He can think of ten different ways that could imply murder. ]

Whose was it?

CAN'T STOP

[daemonized]

I don't know.

[And that's the truth.]

I only recall the setting. That it was night, and it had appeared that no one had been there in years, much less actually sat upon the throne and ruled. But someone must've been present at some point, because there were... corpses. Dead bodies, Lucian, strung up and hanging overhead. Purposefully, I'm sure of it.

GOTTA GO FAST

[accordance]

A tyrant.

[ But all might not be as it seems, because royal slander is a thing everywhere apparently. ]

Deposed, perhaps?

[daemonized]

You guess is as good as mine. I cannot remember.

[And that's frustrating.]

I do recall that this sight, at the time of my remembering, did not bother me nearly as much as it should. Is that not a worrying thought?

[accordance]

Perhaps you were familiar with it, somehow. Or had already known.

[ He has to try and not make his words incriminating, it was puzzling. ]

Done the deed of deposition yourself, in some way.

[daemonized]

It's possible. Everything is still conjecture; I've been presented with no real answers, no concrete details that allow me to thread the narrative together. It's frustrating, how painfully slow the process is.

[And yet...]

I'm worried that I wasn't a good person. As simple as that.

[accordance]

[ That gets a slight shake of his head almost instantly ]

You are a good person now. I would believe in you regardless.

[daemonized]

[He chuckles lightly, with appreciation.]

Your faith in me is reassuring. If only I felt so comfortable holding steadfast to the core of myself -- but I intend to. Make no mistake of that.

And yourself, Lucian? ...If I might be so bold, there's something different about you.

[accordance]

[ That's what friends are for, right? ]

Indeed there is. I fear that I am being forced to return to a previous state, as well. [ He closes his eyes briefly before looking up again. ] I had not been human in a past life. I am aware I look just slightly different - Retrospec has changed my physical body.

[ Even the scar that had nearly cost him (this) life was no longer there. ]

I had been called one of the divine. A title that doesn't sit well with me. Its weight, I cannot carry.

[daemonized]

The... divine?

[He pauses, considering the implications that arise from that.]

You mean like one would call a god?

[accordance]

That is correct.

[ A sigh, as he puts a hand to his forehead in a hallmark of unsettled thought ]

There is no way I can fulfil its role now. I hesitate to tell others of it.

[daemonized]

A god... in what capacity?

[He looks at Lucian now... really looks at him, considering how he's presenting himself. The strange symmetry in his face, the way that it doesn't seem like he's taking the time to even breathe.

It's worrying, but only because he can't imagine what his friend must be going through with such a revelation. He will show concern on his face enough for the both of them.]

Were you worshipped?

[accordance]

[ The thought had only been made easier to bear by the Art of Disconnecting (tm) and the fact that its very nature contributed to his lack of fear. ]

Not exactly. In that time, I had guided the people of my lands. I was... a god of truth, and justice.

[ Not surprising given the man's own nature, but: ]

The title came with foresight and the knowledge of all that will be. But I... am but a common man. I could never be what once was. So it is unrealistic, unfair for us to be expected to be what we once were. That is the injustice that I feel plagues us right now.

[ It's said quietly, with his eyes closed. ]

[daemonized]

[And how he can relate, though on a completely different scale. Lucian, who feels he cannot live up to what he once was. And Ardyn, who fears that he will become that other man, wholly and fully.

This requires another sip or two of his tea, taking in its scent. It warmth. As if it'll help connect his words with more ease.]

It is an injustice. Unfair, in everything.

[He sets the cup down.]

I've had this same conversation with a few people by now. The solutions have been the same -- that we must cling to who we are now, the very core of who we have become in this life.

[accordance]

[ In this way, this life is redemption, a chance to make anew. For those who are still in this world, for those whom we can yet save. ]

It's never so easy, is it?

[ They've had this conversation before. ]

At times, I wish I had my predecessor's wisdom. I am at a loss for any new ideas.

[daemonized]

No. It isn't.

[It is worth repeating, for the sake of encouragement. What little they can garner.]

You and I both, friend. I think it is best to rely on those close to you, however, for they might be able to tell how much you're changing, more than you can personally. I've told many that I'm relying on them to keep me in check if any... less than admirable qualities begin to surface.

[accordance]

[ It's similar to what Grell said to him, so long ago, when Ainsley had gone back to sleep. ]

I must remember. How it is like to still feel...

[ However, this moment of self-indulgence is all that he will allow, so he'll look up again. ]

Then I too will be your mirror in these times. Though I would hold that you are still a good man, even now.