daemonized | RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

I woke up with it yesterday.

There's a chance I know what this is. It was- his. He had a way of connecting to the net, and talking to other team mates without a machine. But I haven't seen how this worked for him.

What is it, then? An implant?

[Again, Retrospec graces one of them with something quite disturbing.]

Have you been to a doctor?

[GET A CT SCAN....]

In a way.

It's too simplistic to call it just one implant, more like, millions of tiny machines, size of a micrometer, assisting the brain's neural signals. I don't even understand all of it.

So, no. I haven't been to see Dr. Trevelyan yet. He'd be the best bet for a referral to get a scan.

I think it would be wise to do so.

The most important question is this: do you feel any different? Does it hurt?

I don't feel any physical change. No pain or dizziness, not even a headache.

There's no physical feeling when I send or receive things, either. Which is odd because it seems like there has to be some kind of subconsious command on it. I've been able to get the screen to go away, and, well, as you saw, record pictures and video. I just can't figure out how I'm doing it.

That's reassuring somewhat, at least.

Though I imagine it's still very distracting. I suppose you don't know how to go about "practicing" it, do you?

It's strange to think that this is one life problem that might actually be solved by repeated shitposting on Retrospec.

Well, whatever must be done...

I offer my own phone as tribute. For you to send texts to, I mean.

You just want more dog pictures.

I wont tell Souji that you're playing both sides.

Togusa, you'd not betray me in such a manner! Surely?

Luckily, I think too highly of our friendship. Your secret's safe with me.

And Daisuke.

I knew I could trust you.

That out of the way, how are you handling this? Beyond just how you feel physically? This is all very intrusive, after all, and I must admit you seem to be taking it very calmly.

You missed the immediate panic when I woke up the first time. Mariko and Dante got the front-row seats to that one. You wouldn't say I was being calm if you'd seen that.

I am still afraid. There's no other way to put it. I don't know what this means. I don't know if it's going to stop here. I saw in one of those visions a man who had a great deal of cybernetic parts, prosthetics, covering nearly his whole body. Other-me was fighting him.

I keep getting more of these little pieces like that, something that can be put together into a picture of what that other Togusa's world is like. And I can't resist it. I want to know. But I'm not willing to pay the cost to myself to get that information.

Nor should you. The fact that there are physical changes happening to us, unwittingly, will always be unforgivable. Even if Retrospec did help with the state of the world last month, I find this very hard to overlook.

Did the other Togusa possess any prosthetics? Or do you remember?

Nothing I noticed. I finally got a look at him in a mirror, in one of the memories, and sure enough, it was my face.

The guy other Togusa was fighting, no, he was covered in metal, it was his whole body, even had some kind of a visor, I'm hoping it was over his eyes. Way too obvious. So I'm thinking it would have been obvious if the person Retrospec is showing me had prosthetics.

Just. What kind of a world does he live in where some people decide that's necessary? To change up your whole body, become entirely a machine?

Maybe he was an extreme example? At any rate, there must've been some reason you were fighting him -- I'm not sure I would use this man as a point of reference for the rest of that world, unless you start remembering more.

I do see your point.

.....

Other-Togusa beat the guy, at least, am I allowed to feel good about that?

I think so. I would be proud, at least, especially if you think you were at a disadvantage from the start.

Was it a difficult fight?

It was interesting. Probably told me more about that other guy than any other memory.

He had to be half the guy's size, but he let himself get thrown around for a bit, until he could get into point-blank range. Cyborg didn't know he had his gun on him, but if the shots were going to pierce all that metal, it had to be from that close. Didn't draw it until the cyborg had him literally picked up off the ground.

Same gun Retrospec sent me.

For the sake of the other you, I'm glad that you survived.

This lends even more to the fact that Retrospec only sends items that are related to us in very personal ways. Have you received anything else?

That book that I thought was just an old school book? Salinger's Catcher? It has to have been from them because it's still blue. Year on it reads in the future, too.

I don't even know how to explain this other thing I found. Also blue, or I might never have looked at it twice. It's a massive report from the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labor, and Welfare. Over 300 pages of names and dates. I'm not sure what the significance is but again all of the dates are in the future.

At least now you have it for reference, should any other memories come your way. Something to compare names and dates /to/.

The book, however... Why is that important, I wonder? Did the other Togusa actually find enjoyment in reading it?

Fuck, I hope not! Then he really is a masochist.

I hated this book in high school. Find your place in the world or the world wont make room for you. No shit, that's the message we've been getting every day of our school lives. Holden's pathetic for wanting to make himself even less of a person. Double down on your failures as if it was a conscious choice.

You're preaching to the choir. I agree with everything you said. The theming has always been something that I never particularly appreciated, but that's neither here nor there.

I just wonder why it was so important, that Retrospec would want to send it to you?

It's definitely well-read. The other Togusa thought it was important. A lot of lines that are tagged.

There's a break point, where the book just falls open, the spot it's been read the most. Which is strange, because it's not even the climax. Chapter 25, there's a line emphasized, and re-written at the bottom of the page in English.

"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes."

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