daemonized | RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

You're preaching to the choir. I agree with everything you said. The theming has always been something that I never particularly appreciated, but that's neither here nor there.

I just wonder why it was so important, that Retrospec would want to send it to you?

It's definitely well-read. The other Togusa thought it was important. A lot of lines that are tagged.

There's a break point, where the book just falls open, the spot it's been read the most. Which is strange, because it's not even the climax. Chapter 25, there's a line emphasized, and re-written at the bottom of the page in English.

"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes."

Interesting. Does that mean anything to you now? Do you have any idea why it would be such a resonating line?

Crap.

I’ve just remembered something.

God damnit Ardyn, why do you keep setting these off?

Hang on.

Why cant I just show you what I’m thinking of, too?

It’s like a symbol or a logo.

Edited (I swear to fuck one time I’m gonna remember) 2017-09-26 01:53 (UTC)

Wait, you did?

[Lord, he doesn't mean to keep granting Togusa memories. But they would be lying if either of them said they weren't curious to know more. Ardyn certainly is.]

Draw it and send it to me?

[Several minutes pass.]

damn it

this is hard

[Several more minutes pass.]

Noooo. so close. Okay. do the words first.

[..........]

Damn you Koutarou how do you make this look so easy this is impossible.

HOW DO YOU FREEHAND THIS?

[/insert Jeopardy theme here]

[The next few texts degenerate into Japanese romaji that if Ardyn runs through Google translate all come out as swear words.]

Ha-HA! Okay. Wait. Got it.

[Togusa is WAY TOO DAMN PROUD of outputting this.]

[Ardyn occasionally just sends words of encouragement ("Take your time", "I'm still here, there's no hurry") until the picture comes through. When that happens, he takes the time to look at it, and of course what immediately stands out is:]

Rather... cheerful-looking, isn't it?

Meet The Laughing Man. More things are starting to come together. Involved in a kidnapping case, the case I was investigating with Yamaguchi, before he died.

Unsure of where this fits in, but, what, was he using this stupid book as some kind of manifesto or similar?

The Laughing Man... that's an ominous moniker if I've ever heard of one. But maybe you're right? That would explain why the other Togusa may have poured over its pages, and why the one line was so prominently focused on.

I wonder if you ever found him?

Wasn't this what we were saying before? That we keep learning just enough to want to know more? Because I want to figure this out.

Starting to say better things about the other Togusa, though, if he was looking into something like this. Trying to stop him?

Well, why wouldn't he? Do you not consider the other Togusa a decent person?

[He would be the better judge of that than Ardyn, and it's a sincere question. He's honestly curious.]

All I've got to go on is what I've seen. And I can't tell if he's something close to the law, or if he's paramilitary, or what. He works with somebody who is really clearly Yakuza. Has access to military tech that's far beyond anything we've heard of. Specialized training applicable for combat situations.

But he seems to be involved in investigations, too. So, what, somebody closer to Mariko's job? I can't tell yet.

Yes, but my meaning is that do you /feel/ that he is a good person? Are you able to judge his emotions when you experience these memories? I wonder if you would feel a hint of prejudice, or selfishness, or even bitterness, if he possessed them.

It's there. He feels responsible for his colleague's death, that comes through loud and clear. But then there's the memories of the Tachikoma, which is all tinged with irritation and I'd definitely say looking down on them, if I'd put any value judgement on it.

You have mentioned something similar, before, though. That you're getting emotions alongside the memories you're seeing?

Yes. So much that a few of my more recent memories are defined more by emotion than the actual events that took place.

It's as if I'm remembering two different men, Togusa.

[The healer... and then the man who certainly... wasn't.]

What's the difference between them?

The healer, he felt... as if he cared. Enough to take the illness of others into himself, despite the consequences it might bring. I hesitate to say selfless, but I can't think of a moment in which he thought about the detriment to himself.

The other? Bitter, spiteful, hateful. Manipulative.

Something has to have happened to him, one way or the other. Depends on which 'man' came first.

Betting I already know the answer to this, but I'll ask anyway. Which one is popping up in memories with Prompto and Noctis?

You have to promise not to tell /them/ this, if I tell you.

[Which is an answer unto itself, isn't it.]

[It is. But maybe it’s more important for Ardyn to say this than for Togusa to know it.]

I will not. I promise.

The hateful one.

[Ardyn.]

But you recognize that it's not you. You're one of the most selfless men I know. You don't harbor any hate, especially not around those two.

Perhaps they're the ones that changed his mind.

Do we know for certain? That's all conjecture, Togusa. You might label me as selfless, but I did the same for the healer -- and if he turned into that /other/ man, who is to say the same won't happen to me?

[An insecurity brought to the forefront, even if he's thought on it a hundred times before.]

I need to know what happened.

We don't know for certain. In either direction. We don't know for sure that these people are us, as well.

And whatever happened to him, if it turned him into someone so angry, we won't let it happen to you again. You may remember it. But you have people who will try to keep you from turning out the same.

But you're right, you do need to know.

I know, and I appreciate it. It's just something that's easy to focus on, easy to obsess about, when no real answers have been provided.

[But he doesn't need to tell Togusa that. Everyone here goes through the same ol' song and dance.]

At any rate, I thought you should know.

(no subject)

standalonehuman - 2017-10-02 18:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

daemonized - 2017-10-03 20:55 (UTC) - Expand