RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

[daemonized]

ARDYN IZUNIA

Ardyn Izunia. Professor of law. Lord of law. Liege of law. The one grading your papers. Leave a message.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

( new ic contact post HERE )

Comments

[daemonized]

[how much

a lawyer

dollar sign.

Prompto. Wat.]

Are you asking how much a lawyer makes, or how much a lawyer /costs/?

[Also, it's late as hell? Not that Ardyn wasn't already awake, but what crazy shenanigans have you gotten yourself into, Prompto?]

[mercurio]

costs is it a lot

[daemonized]

That depends on the services you're requiring. Though the answer is, generally speaking, yes.

Are you in need of a lawyer? Is this a cry for help?

[mercurio]

YES HELP help me
what are my rights

[daemonized]

I do need context. What happened?

[mercurio]

idk how much time i have i was doing a thing and everything
went wrong
i'm so sorrry

[daemonized]

[He has no idea if Prompto is just overreacting to something unexpected, or actually needs legitimate help. Text makes tone impossible to tell.

And so:]

Where are you? Do you need me to come over there?

[The only reason Ardyn thinks that this isn't some terrible emergency is the fact that Prompto is still taking the time to text him, regardless. Otherwise, shouldn't the police have been called first?]

[mercurio]

no, no turns out i'm the criminal
what do i say to a person so they don't get too angry that there's blood all over their rug
i mean he will still be angry
but less ? how
also am i being charged for these questions or not yet

[daemonized]

[Okay. So. Maybe not that serious. Maybe.]

Firstly, is it your blood, or someone else's?

[And, because this is Ardyn Izunia and he can't help himself:] Don't be silly, I don't charge per question.

It's ten dollars per word. I'll be keeping track, so don't worry about counting right now.

[mercurio]

holyshitokayyesitsmine

[daemonized]

[You know what? Not even going to tell him to not type like that.]

If you're in need of first aid, please stop texting me and begin tending to your wounds right away.

Barring that, you should play up the sympathy card if you wish to avoid this individual's wrath. Your injury is hereby grievous and painful, and you should make it known. Loudly.

[mercurio]

okaybutmaybethatsbadadvicebecauseidontwannabefoundfirstofall

[why do you advise him like this]

[daemonized]

[Because even in this AU Ardyn is still kind of a facetious man, though just in lesser degrees.]

Why? Don't tell me you're trespassing on private property.

[mercurio]

onlyalil

[daemonized]

There's no such thing as trespassing only "a little". Either you do, or you don't. That actually /is/ illegal, you understand?

[mercurio]

okokiknowthatbutthisisafriendandsometimeswedothisnotalwaysthoughbuthekindaknowsijustdidnthavethekeyandileftmycameraherebuthewasntansweringiknowitsbadbutnowiminapickleandmaybehedoesntlikemetoomuchwithoutnoctaroundmaybeheslikeahitman??igetthatfeelingsometimesbutweplaydungeonsandragonstogetherwhichistotallycoolpleasedontcallthecops

[daemonized]

[And he's met with a wall of text. Thankfully, Ardyn also knows when a joke has backfired completely, and instead of even making an attempt to decipher all of that-]

Please text normally and try that again. Consider this pro bono work.

[mercurio]

please don't call the cops!!

[the important bit...]

[daemonized]

I'm not calling the authorities.

[Though maybe his usually unfortunate relation to Fynn is a good thing, now.]

Though I can't say the same for your "friend". Maybe he'll show a bit of leniency for your sake.

[mercurio]

you think?? i hope so
also i might have to go now please tell me how much i have to pay you ok thanks

[daemonized]

[Are you really going to be ok, though? It's a mystery. He might follow up on this tomorrow.]

I'll send you an invoice first thing in the morning. Don't worry.

[No such thing will actually happen.]

[mercurio]

okay i'll cry i mean bye

[his life is falling into shambles]