daemonized | RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

you should've seen his face, she kept listing all the stuff she'd learned how to do living there, stuff like dusting the sticks

riding the rail

polishing the knobs

skinning the sausage

choking the chicken

that's when he started questioning her

his reaction when she talked about wringing its neck and chopping the head right off was priceless, i'm not sure he ever realized she wasn't a prostitute

Edited (i really just want to destroy your new ic post before you say anything about it don't mind me) 2017-09-19 20:30 (UTC)

[yikes

But... as is the case with all of his misfires, he just #rollswithit.]

Why wouldn't he have? These pass as poor euphemisms, sounding more painful than... amorous.

[...well. This sure wasn't supposed to go to Ardyn. BUT THAT'S FINE HE GUESSES? It's not like he hasn't had ridiculous conversations with him before or anything.]

look he thought she was there for his bachelor party he didn't realize she'd gotten the wrong cottage, he just opened the door and asked "are you from (whatever it was called, it's been a few years)" and she went "oh!" and started going on about how nice the other girls were there and how they'd taught her everything she knew

none of us were about to tell him, watching his face go from excited to confused to pained to straight up horrified was the best part of that night

[Straight into ridiculousness, that's what they do.]

Well, when someone starts talking about cutting certain parts off -- or it becomes misconstrued as such -- I'm sure anyone would be rightly terrified. I would be as well.

[Look it comes with the territory]

spare me, she was obviously way too innocent for all that

most of the time if a woman's making comments like that there are certain looks or body language involved, this girl was wide-eyed innocence talking about the stuff her big sisters had taught her

Well in that case, it sounds like he was only interpreting it as what he wanted to hear. Up until a certain point, of course. The poor girl.

A shame I wasn't there to see it. Though thank goodness for misfires so that you could share it with me regardless. Admittedly, this app being as unreliable as usual at least has provided entertainment for this month.

bachelor party

can't blame him too much for thinking he knew what was gonna happen even if he was completely wrong

gotta say though prof you probably wouldn't have fit in very well, i can't see you in paris's red light district

unless there's something about you i don't know

You're right, I would stick out not unlike a sore thumb.

[Basically how he is all the time.]

However, imagining you in such a questionable part of the city... Should I be retroactively concerned?

come on does this really surprise you that i've been there

and it's not like being concerned now is gonna change what's happened in the past anyways

Surprise? No. But much like a fretting parent, it makes me worry no matter how long in the past it might've been.

why? it's just a place

i didn't try to buy a hooker if that's what you're worried about

A red light district is "just a place".

[Repeated for the sake of its inanity. Worry not, Dante, it's not as if he wants to lecture you. But you and argue that a parental figure would be worried to hear that their child ended up in such a place at some point in time.]

[HE'S HONESTLY SO CONFUSED BY THIS, HE DOESN'T SEE THE PROBLEM HERE]

yeah, it is

look if you've got a problem with it just tell me, don't dance around the subject

what's the big deal?

I'm not dancing around anything. I'm just having trouble seeing why you think someone wouldn't raise eyebrows at a story that found you traipsing around any sort of red light district.

[Now he's just exaggerating to be difficult.]

prof you've MET me

if anyone's surprised to hear that i've been there they don't know me very well and if they don't they'll figure it out fast enough

and i never said that people KNEW i was going there, it wasn't exactly something i asked permission about

[Time to delve into LOGIC.]

Dante, there are a lot of things that you do that don't necessarily /surprise/ me. That does not mean that I don't still worry.

[SHAKING HIS HEAD???? He doesn't get this. It's not even that he's intentionally trying not to--he just can't wrap his head around the idea that Ardyn might be concerned about the trouble he's gotten up to in his past. It's over now, right?]

that's pretty weird prof

but if you say so

I think we've reached an impasse when it comes to understanding. Simply accept my concern for you, Dante, everlasting as it will be.

it's not like i've got any other choice, is it?

[As always, there's no real bite to the text. Ardyn's so weird, but he wouldn't have it any other way...

The second half of it comes a few moments later, delayed. It's still hard for him to be genuine sometimes, okay?]

thanks

for looking out for me

[This isn't quite a misfire--this is Dante opening his text app to send someone else a message and forgetting that he'd texted Ardyn last.]

hey im not gonna make it tonight i jacked my arm up again rain check

shit ignore that wrong person

[SO ABOUT THAT WHOLE PERPETUALLY WORRYING ABOUT DANTE THING...]

What did you do?

nothing

you saw me monday im fine

[Or he could just throw Dante's words back at him.]

"i jacked my arm up again rain check"

yeah so what maybe i hadnt told him yet anything had happened

[dante being defensive isn't going to help your case

(not to mention the fact that does Ardyn even know in the first place? He's not realizing that part)]

9/20 misfire

i can't believe my new contact post is already ruined

it's what i do c:

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1/3

accidental; a little while later

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