daemonized | RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

... I know you're right. I just ... worry about doing something wrong.

[ Yu knits his fingers into a bridge on which to rest his chin, staring off to one side. ]

Yosuke... was very insistent about being straight when I first met him. I can't help but get this feeling like it bothers him that he might not be completely straight. He's terrified of what people will think, but most of all his own family. His fears are reasonable, and I've been trying to help him work through them as best I can... I just don't want to push him too far. What if he decides it's all too much and he'd rather not deal with the stress of having a secret boyfriend he can't tell his parents about?

[ It's like all the words just spill out of him. He hasn't told anyone these things, not even Souji - because Souji is extremely close with Yosuke, too. He doesn't want his friends to think poorly of Yosuke. But these fears have been eating Yu up inside and with the slightest bit of prompting they've all come spilling out. ]

[Fears that Ardyn truly hates must exist, but he understands why Yosuke would feel apprehension. If only it were so simple to say that “it’ll be all right”, that one shouldn’t care what others think. Easy enough for Ardyn, someone detached from the influence of the part of his family that would judge him otherwise.

He turns his words over in his head before speaking them.]

Then that’s something he’ll have to reconcile with himself. To risk the chance of people thinking ill of him — as ignorant as that may be on their part — or to simply play it safe, to the detriment of a relationship’s potential happiness.

[He’s not sure if that’s what Yu wishes to hear, but he believes that to be the reality of the situation. Still, he offers:]

But you should still speak to him about this. Your support should be heavily weighted in this equation, and he would be remiss to not realize that. You wouldn’t be pushing, you’d only be wanting to communicate honestly, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

[ Given how much Yu has been dwelling on the worst possibilities, it's almost a relief to hear someone else say it out loud, instead of a reassurance that it'll all be alright. It feels like, as long as he can acknowledge the reality of the worst that may come to pass, he can then gather the courage to deal with it - and hopefully avoid it.

He'll nod slowly, though he still looks a little forlorn. ]

I know. You're right. I've been letting my own fears hold me back from bringing it up with him... but I need to place my faith in him and believe we can work through this together. If we can't, then...

[ he trails off. it probably doesn't need to be said. Yu will sigh, rubbing his face, but his uncle will get a tired, grateful smile. ]

Thank you. I ... haven't really known how to talk about this with anyone else.

[He gives him an apologetic sort of smile, glad that he can offer a bit of reassurance, but sorry that he cannot wipe away all anxieties completely. But some things are simply more easily said than done, and beyond even his capabilities.]

If it helps, I believe you two have the strength to work through it together, too. It's never easy, this sort of thing, but being upfront is always the best route to take. Ignoring it and hoping it resolves itself very rarely works out.

That being said... you're welcome. You know that I'll always listen to anything you need to say to me, Yu. Even if it's hard to articulate at first.

[ The way Yu smiles is lopsided, a bit vulnerable, and very touched.

There's a pause, in which he looks down at his hands as he fiddles with them just slightly, and then he murmurs: ]

Looking back, one of the best things about moving to Recollé was that we finally got to meet you.

[ His voice is quiet, and his shyness is expressed in the way he won't meet Ardyn's gaze. But the smile on his face is very warm. ]

[Oh no, that admission is enough to make him so very glad to hear it. Ardyn visibly brightens, touched. He's... happy, then, that he's been able to provide for Yu in a way that makes him feel grateful. To be family, as family should be.]

Are you sure I'm not the one who should be admitting such things?

[He chuckles lightly.]

I'm glad to have family near me that I care about. Life might be more complicated these days... [Mostly thanks to Retrospec.] ...but it's been a blessing, having you two enter it unexpectedly. And so, thank you for that.

[ Yu hunches his shoulders a little, feeling very shy in the wake of such an honest admission, but he does manage to glance up at his uncle with that bashful, crooked smile of his. When he's being honest with his own personality, he's quite shy a lot of the time.

And that's what Ardyn gets to see. Yu, as he is, instead of Yu as he thinks he ought to be. ]

I'm glad, [ he murmurs, a huge understatement, but his happiness is tucked away beneath his tone, quiet but detectable to the keen ear. ] ... I'm ... sure you've figured out by now Souji and I aren't terribly close to our parents. [ A quieter smile, sadder. ] They're busy people. Our mother especially. It's...

[ ...

Yu rubs the back of his neck, glancing off to one side. Apparently the shame of speaking ill of his parents is catching up with him. As if they somehow might hear, know he besmirched their name, how dare he, ungrateful child. ]

As I said... I'm glad we got to meet you.

[Ardyn has a lot of feelings about the family he doesn't speak with. He does not know Yu's mother all that well, but his nephew's father is held in a less than flattering light in his own eyes. And yet... Ardyn will never bring himself to speak ill of either parent, not while in the presence of either Souji or Yu. It feels wrong, like dredging up things that both have no need to dwell on, not when they have the far more preferable presence of each other.]

I consider you family of the closest sort. I hope that you may do the same, someday.

[A little grin to accompany that. The implication being that if they are not close with their mother, that if they must be close with someone else in the family, Ardyn can and will be that one.]

[ The way he smiles at his uncle is very crooked, a shade of bittersweet he's not often got. As is his way, he'll remain quiet for a long moment, clearly deliberating his words carefully. ]

There's nothing to hope for, [ he murmurs, looking pointedly down at the floor, ] if it's already true. Isn't that right?

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