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ARDYN IZUNIA

Ardyn Izunia. Professor of law. Lord of law. Liege of law. The one grading your papers. Leave a message.

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[ Did he just say "butt"?

Did Ardyn just say the word "butt"????

Yes he fucking did.

He so fucking did, and Noctis doesn't even say anything. He starts laughing like a damn child. ]

[Oh, dang, guess who just woke up.]

Noctis?

[OH DANG MOM'S UP AND SHE'S MAD]

It's two in the bloody morning, who the hell are you talking to?

[ OH SHIT.

Noctis is drunk enough to look ridiculously spooked when Rosalind appears from her room. He perks up, looking like he's been caught committing a crime.

But that fades pretty quick. Noctis starts snickering again as he points to the phone. ]

It's Ardyn.

He... He called me, I swear.

Did he.

[A FUCKING LIAR, CAELUM.]

Give me the phone.

[ Wow wtf????!!!!

Noctis snorts again and hands over the phone. Ever-compliant. It's your house, mom. ]

Fair warning, he's talkin' about butts.

I'm certain he is.

[Hello Ardyn my old friend, I've come to talk with you again.]

Is this Ardyn?

[There is just so much going on. Between the hysterical laughter of Noctis and more voices in the background, Ardyn is honestly wondering what on earth he's gotten into, what with this butt-dial.

But he's met with Rosalind's voice, and his humor seems to spike further, and there's something edging on laughter in his tone.]

Rosalind! It certainly is none other than I. Your'e up rather late.

Not willingly, I assure you. Noctis, sit down--

[That's the Professor voice right there.]

I assume he called you?

He texted first. Some gibberish that was barely decipherable.

And then he called me. Accidentally. I assume he's drunk.

Very much so, yes. He went to his first party, and give him this, he at least didn't hold back.

But he didn't throw up in my car, so I suppose there's that.

Of course. One must never hold back during their first party experience. If he's not terribly hungover the next morning, which I think he might be, he isn't doing it correctly.

So, you were the designated driver?

Not officially. But when he responded to my asking if he was drunk with a text that simply said no, this is Noctis, I hardly had much of a choice.

[JUST TALKIN ABOUT HIM IN FRONT OF HIM, IT'S FINE]

I thought he'd sleep it off. Apparently not.

[He's probably too drunk to notice, it's okay.]

It hardly bothers me, either way. I was already awake and this proved to be an extra dose of entertainment for the night.

[ rUDE.

Noctis was only trying to get up to get his phone back because he was talking, Mom! Either way, he sighs and plops back down on the couch. ]

Don' forget he said butt.

Callin' you out, Prof.

[SHE'S NOT EVEN . . . GONNA MENTION THAT . . . NO ONE NEEDS TO EVER TALK ABOUT BUTTS . . . ]

I wasn't awake. I was sleeping quite well, because it's the night before classes begin, and who the hell throws a party on a Monday night, anyway?

University students. Surely you're aware of that much.

[He just sounds amused. And not at all like he's just woken up or anything.]

But forgive me if we've woken you up. That wasn't at all my intent.

I kept my partying to Friday and Saturday when I was in university.

[Ros don't fucking lie you went to like four parties and all of them at the insistence of your hotass roommate, don't act like you're a damn expert.]

You aren't the one who needs to be apologizing.

[NOCT.]

But I think the shame he'll feel tomorrow will be punishment enough. That, or the hangover. He had twelve drinks. He doesn't even know of what.

Odd, you don't strike me as the type who partied all that often in your university years. But what do I know?

[But god.]

Twelve? How has his body not revolted by now?

[aka thrown the hell up]

I don't know, but I shan't a gift horse in the mouth. He didn't do it in my car and that's all I was truly worried about.

[I mean, alcohol poisoning too, that was a fear, but mostly her car. ONE FEAR, ARDYN]

He'll be in class tomorrow, though. You can count on that.

[How very motherly of you, Ros]

And how will you make certain of that?

Because he-- Noctis, I swear if you don't sit down--

[There is. Some scuffling.]

What could you possibly have to say to him!

[Oh boy. Scuffling. What could this possibly be.]

It's fine, Rosalind. Let me speak with him.

[ Noctis keeps getting up for something and forgetting what. Which isn't doing him any favors because he keeps nearly falling over every time. The last time Rosalind scolds him, he scoffs and collapses on the couch. ]

S'my phone. I'm good with my choices.

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where did my notif go? a mystery

you're back now

barely alive

just like noct

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I forgot to track this whyyyy