daemonized | RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

I see. And I can agree to that. But that's the sticking point, I think. I do not know what happened -- whatever flipped the switch that turned a healer (that's what I was, I believe, for a bit), into a man that wanted to purposefully harm those around him.

Surely this life is the happier one. A stark difference, compared to someone walking around with spite all day.

probably someone hurt him
which doesnt really excuse harming others
but thats what tends to be a good guess for a flip switcher

i guess my opinion is that
while we may not want to be those people
even back before i was more me than i was me
i figured that we had to at least acknowledge them as true
otherwise wont it just sneak up on you
if you dont know whats coming
and what you can do to change it
?

No, it's not much of an excuse at all. But if that's the case... then it's a matter of waiting for the right memory to visit me.

[And that? That is terrifying. Completely so.]

Are you telling me that I need to merely accept that I might've been a terrible person? And what? Simply move on?

no
im saying that its something to think about and keep watch on
if what you want to do is to stop that being a thing
because if you dont then the memories may force the issue?

its subtle sometimes with some people
but if you think back to the beginning
to february
you can see it start to happen
how people have changed bit by bit

i think if someone doesnt want to change its important to accept what was true
so yeah to that part
but not to move on so much as
chart a new vector

does that make any sense whatsoever?

at least two people have made me promise to end them if they went over a line
theyre watching themselves and drawing lines in the sand
i dont think thats a bad idea when there are lines that you as you are now dont want to cross

No. It makes sense. I think that it will be more difficult to apply in practice, but it seems to achieve a balance in otherwise chaotic and uncertain circumstances.

[Dave sounds a lot calmer, a lot more reasonable, than many he's spoken to. Most likely, he thinks, because he's gotten back so many memories, and has already trodden a path that the rest of them are still afraid to walk.]

Maybe this will be easier to do when I start remembering more. Maybe it won't be. But charting a new "vector" sounds inspirational, so why not consider looking at things in such a way? I will, of course, take it into consideration.

Someone has also told me that if I begin to wander astray, they'll guide me back. And I've promised someone else the same. It sounds to me like we're all just relying on each other at this point. A sense of community has never been so critical.

its always hard
even if you had guideposts in your previous life
you have to find new ones here
and learn to deal with the discrepancies that come from this sort of thing

what people from the same "place" remember of you or dont
how you might treat them differently on this side of the scratch
or them you
and how you deal with that

how you deal with remembering and loving people who arent here

how you come to terms with who you yourself were and who you are

its not like theres any one answer to any of those things
so at the very least i try to acknowledge they are things
even if i fuck up how i deal with them
because
i think lying about them being things or not bringing it up to the newbies
that these are things that will occur
is perhaps unfair?
we had to go through this from day 1 with no guidance at all
at least we can kinda try to help guide those who came after

since i think all of us still need guidance
so yeah
i agree
a sense of community is pretty critical

I never intend to lie to any of the newcomers. There's little point in hiding what will eventually happen to them, I think.

[And if he sees that happening? Ardyn will call out whoever's lying.]

How cliche. Leaning on friends and loved ones to find one's sense of self, to pull it out of the storm of uncertainty and to set a clear path before you. It's like the plot of a film, but look at how prominently it applies to us right now. I cannot criticize it. I have to admit that I've been leaning quite a bit on loved ones as of late.

And you? Do you have many you can rely on? Close friends, perhaps, from the world you come from?

me either
at least not about shit that matters
i frequently lie about dumb stuff like
whats something i lied about
i dont know not actual information though more like
yes you got it i am the disco queen
levels of lies
when someone is sarcastic at me or misunderstands some casual aside

not from the world i come from
my siblings forgot and the one who remembered doesnt remember the original remembering
but i have a best friend

Of course a silly, little white lie is nothing harmful. Especially if you're telling others you're a disco queen. I hope that's something you've actually said and you're not just giving out flippant examples.

And I'm glad you have your friend to aid you. I have two from my world whom I recognize. We've been keeping each other up-to-date with our memories as a result.

im pretty sure i said it to someone but i forget who

yeah thats a little dangerous
apparently everyone i knew died a lot
so i try not to make them remember shit

I think most would prefer not to be left in the dark.

Or, at least, the two that I'm speaking of would prefer that we remain open about what we remember, and what we feel about these memories.

[Even if Ardyn is not... really... divulging all the negative stuff just yet.]

lmao yeah probably
its more complicated than that though i guess
?

Slightly. There are some things that are harder to admit than others. You can guess why.

yeah
i know why
there are some things you just dont want anyone to know
in any life

Nothing quite so dramatic for me yet, but we shall see if it comes to that.

In any case, thank you for this conversation.

sure
i never mind talking to people about whatever
even if my dubious expertise is dubious

For what it's worth, I hereby label your expertise Not Dubious At All. Feel free to let everyone else know.

ill put it on my online profile
but ig hit me up if you ever wanna shoot the shit again

Of course. Thank you for the chat, and for the information you posted for all of us.

RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

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