daemonized | RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

"Risk versus reward. The question of if the end justifies the means. I have a feeling this is something we'll be wrestling with for a while, though I wish I could say that's not the case."

A discussion that has no definitive answer. One that changes based on the perception of the individual. They could talk about this all day if they wanted, weaving circles around each other, but Ardyn's attention is pulled once more towards they mention of memories.

"Have you remembered anything new recently?"

These sorts of discussions are one of the things Togusa enjoys the most about spending time with Ardyn. Who needs an answer when just the argumentation is fun? Because he thinks those are truly the most valuable things he learned from Ardyn: how to argue, structuring an argument, following a logical path. It's why Ardyn slaps on extra papers to his favored students about every topic under the sun. While he might actually be curious about the differences between American and Japanese baseball, it's more about how you make your point that he wants to see.

Togusa pauses, and he had just let the last topic that he's seen slip. He takes out a long breath, looking past Ardyn like he's replaying it in his head. "I saw the Tachikoma, the robots, again. I was right about what I thought of them, they're simplistic, almost child-like in their intelligence. But I saw them getting taken away, whatever facility they were in? They were getting marched out, thought it was just for a retrofit, so they were all excited. Singing, even."

Togusa frowns. "But for some reason, I knew they were getting decommissioned. They weren't coming back. And I don't know why I feel bad about that."

"You feel bad about it because it sounds very... sad," he admits, soon after Togusa tells him.

"Child-like, you said. Singing as they marched towards being decommissioned. Even if sentience isn't quite the right word for them, it's hard not to apply aspects of humanity to inhuman things in a situation like that. I think I would've felt guilty as well."

A pause.

"Do you know why they were being decommissioned?"

Togusa's eyes narrow a little as he thinks about it, trying to hold on to this image in his head, and he slowly shakes his head. "It's not- clear. I know that we were using them, I can remember driving one."

"But they're just machines." The protest is weak. Almost automatic, as if it's something he knows he has to say. "Almost makes it worse, actually, doesn't it? If they could feel trust, they'd have it for us humans, wouldn't they? Or is it the Asimov thing, unable to disobey even if they knew what was coming?" Togusa might have been supplementing his reading list ever since the memory showed up.

"On the surface, it's dumb to feel bad, but you're right. Especially if they were, what, comrades in the field? Shouldn't matter if they're mechanical."

Ardyn nods in agreement.

"Human beings have had sentimental attachment to things that make far less sense," he admits. "Being alive isn't necessarily a requirement."

His mind immediately flickers to Fynn, and his baffling love for his car. He shakes his head at it, slow but noticeable.

"What was their main purpose? You said you drove one?"

"Tanks!" Togusa actually perks up a little bit at the thought. "They're tanks. Gatling guns, mini-grenade launchers, small arms fire, I have no idea why I'd ever need that much firepower, but they do!"

Togusa is starting to gesture with his fingers to indicate the movements of a bug. "And those legs, they can crawl up surfaces just like a spider. And they have grappling hooks to latch on and jet themselves up the side of a building." Togusa is laughing at himself a little. "It's so futuristic and fantastic I can barely conceive it, but they feel so real."

Ardyn looks equal parts intrigued and amused when Togusa perks up, talking about tanks and their bug-like qualities. He does his best to imagine it, watching his hands with interest as they gesticulate.

"They sound like a force to be reckoned with. Gatling guns and grenade launchers, you said; what on earth possibly requires that much force to be dealt with? It's as if their use should only be delegated to war."

Togusa's mouth forms a line, and he shrugs exaggeratedly. "No idea. Haven't seen what was on the other end of the tank. But, Earth might actually be the right word." Togusa points.

"Ta-chi-ko-ma," Togusa breaks down the syllables of the word, pointing on each one. "Not a real word, but when I think about it, what comes up is katakana. And the song they were singing, it was a Japanese nursery rhyme. What I'm remembering might just be as simple as 'what if I never left Japan?'"

"What if you never left Japan and such a technology was actually developed, I think you mean," he says, correcting but not without a sliver of whimsy in his words.

"What nursery rhyme were they singing? Out of curiosity."

"Akai Kutsu," Togusa explains. He thinks about it for a second, and the corner of his mouth quirks up again briefly, but it's unamused this time. "Someone even asked them if they realized what the song was about. And they didn't get it, they just saw a surface-level interpretation."

"Childlike."

"I don't know what the song is about," he offers in return, and if Togusa wants to explain he's more than welcome to. If anything, he's interested in the way the humor drains a little from the man when he mentions the nursery rhyme.

Togusa hesitates. "It's the memory of a young girl, the lyrics say that she left home, probably taken away to America. From the point of view of probably a sister. But the truth is the girl died. Little piece of the innocence of kids, not realizing the truth of death. Which is a little too appropriate given the situation."

He raises a brow, considering this for a moment.

"They must've been taught this, or at least programmed to know it. It almost sounds like someone's very misguided idea of a joke."

"Why does a tank need a personality, or intelligence?" Togusa muses. But he shakes his head. Nothing else is coming. "I don't know if I want to know the answer, but if Retrospec has their way? I'm going to."

His eyes raise to Ardyn again, questioning. "What about you? I wasn't the only one playing the game, so what were you after?"

"In a way, the same as you," he admits, glancing out over the campus. It remains relatively empty, as is often the case during the summer, but there are a still wayward individuals milling about, minding their own business.

He adjusts the brim of his hat again, a thoughtless motion.

"Answers. Swallowing my pride to play the game, I wanted to know what the point was, and if we were to garner anything actually useful from it. I was especially intrigued, considering that the theme of QR codes seems to be a repeat one."

An interesting way of putting it, but Togusa supposes it's good at least Ardyn admits he's a prideful man. He nods in understanding. "There's a few people I ran into this month that were after something specific. Another piece of a memory that wasn't complete, or some more understanding," raises his hand to gesture at Ardyn.

"Have a colleague who is taking a gamble that there's something waiting for him." Togusa leans forwards, resting his elbows on his knees. "With many other peopl gaining extranatural abilities, and some of them having absolutely no problem breaking the law? It's almost like an arms race. But it's his sense of self that's the battleground. Rush it, and you could lose your memories of yourself." Togusa shakes his head.

You. "Maybe I wanted to make sure you weren't trying to do the same thing."

He pauses in consideration, looking carefully at Togusa's expression.

"I wouldn't act reckless or immorally, if that's what you're worried about. There are lines that I will not cross, especially when it comes to how it may be a detriment to others."

Bleeding heart, as he is. And he shall cling to it, for however long it'll last.

"...Of course, if Retrospec begins to nudge me in one uncomfortable direction, and I remain blind to it? For whatever reason. I trust you to let me know. You'd do that, wouldn't you?"

That is a strange feeling in Togusa's chest. He's known that he and Ardyn are more than just former teacher and student for a while now. But this does clench it. Maybe he didn't yet realize that Ardyn's trust had extended to such a personal level. He nods. "Yes. I mean, of course."

"I've trusted you with the same. That little nudge of moral guidance, a voice outside of just the Department to remind me that it's worth it. So. Thank you." He's more honored than he can really put into words, so he lets the silence stretch on for a few seconds.

RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

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CONTENT WARNING FOR HOLOCAUST REFERENCE, THANKS, ARDYN

HE DIDN'T KNOW but yes cw: holocaust references

Re: HE DIDN'T KNOW but yes cw: holocaust references

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