daemonized | RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

9/10ths of the network for one thing, i've got a reputation to keep up

the people i hang out with in everyday life, most people aren't like you or prompto or ari

me

what do you expect

[And here's the crux of the matter: while his parents had wanted for him to be a charming son, Dante's the one that selected his "asshole rebel without a cause" vibe and threw himself into it wholeheartedly. And he knows it's a way for him to protect himself, no matter how entertaining it can be, no matter how freeing it feels to not give a fuck about what other people think or say. Sure, there have been a couple rare moments where dropping his armor has led to forming connections he could never have anticipated, but... most people aren't like that. Most people would look at him and see an easy target if he didn't make sure to make it difficult for them.

In spite of how well things have turned out so far, those moments of weakness were still moments of weakness.]

[And Ardyn suspects this is a highly ingrained armor that he wears. Not something that can be battered and beaten down with a handful of conversations. And so, he doesn't press the issue -- he only hopes to plant the seed of an idea, that someday letting the armor crack and slip off would not necessarily be a bad thing.]

You'll find as you grow a little older, Dante, the state of your reputation will matter less than the people you surround yourself with to provide support. The more, the better.

Edited (when you forget a word...wtf brain) 2017-06-06 15:13 (UTC)

[It's a really good point. It's an important life lesson, and when Dante reads the words they hit him harder than they have any right to...

But at the same time, this conversation began because of a reminder that he, his father's son, was less important than the state of his father's reputation.]

so what's the statute of limitations on that

or do you have to meet certain criteria to be able to look at things that way

"must make less than $[x] per year to qualify"

[Oops.]

[Not exactly what Ardyn had been aiming for, but it seems as if he's unearthed something of a sticking point for Dante. It's not something easily maneuvered around, either, so he instead answers it head-on.]

Ideally, there shouldn't be criteria at all. But sometimes it's difficult to see beyond money and reputation, when it's been the focus of someone's life for so long. Easier to learn it from the start, than try to unravel it from one's adult years.

[Dante's next text is delayed by a good ten minutes.]

it's not something that just happens on its own though, is it

it's something you have to choose to do

[He had thought that maybe Dante had been finished with the conversation, and Ardyn didn't want to push any further than necessary. He had resigned to leaving him be, for now.

But he was wrong, apparently, and it's a minute or two before he responds.]

Sometimes. And sometimes someone else needs to make them aware of it. It's a realization that not everyone will come to on their own.

[So much for people not leaving him.

Ardyn's words are a confirmation of his suspicions. It's an answer to something he's known, to something Isa had known too. But for some reason, seeing it written out like this... it feels like there's something inside his chest, squeezing his heart.

It takes him a couple minutes again to respond to his text.]

i guess i probably knew that already if im honest

still sucks though

[Not the answer he wanted to hear, he's sure of it. And yet, as always, Ardyn feels the need to offer something. If not consolation, then a potential solution.

(One that he would not do himself if in the same shoes as his student, but that's besides the point.)]

Something that /could/ be brought up, if you ever feel the time is right.

[Can he ever bring it up? Could he really ever confront his father about his choice to prioritize his career over his son, the choice he'd maybe never even considered all of the ramifications of? After all, it's unlikely his father even realizes how much of an effect his presence has even had on his life...

Dante can remember the way his dad would look at him sometimes when they'd brought him on tour, as though he was stunned and bemused but still somehow pleased or proud of this child sitting beside him on the piano bench. Like he hadn't expected Dante to actually be a person of his own accord.

(What had he expected to see instead...?)

Sure, he could bring it up, but can he really face the idea that his own father has never really seen him as as important or close enough to be privy to the real Andri beneath the public face? That maybe he's never even viewed him as his own? Something like that... it would be like losing the only piece of identity that he's known his entire life. Because if he's not a Rantanen... then who is he?]

im pretty sure the time would never be right for that conversation

thanks though

for trying

[Ardyn's advice on this matter will always be skewed, biased dependent upon his own experiences. He tries to look at everything from a level-headed, reasonable (and empathic) standpoint, but it's difficult where this is concerned; he thinks of how his own parents were too set in their ways to be even the tiniest bit malleable. How even after speaking with them about his... issues with them, nothing changed. Things only exploded.

As far as he's concerned, if one possesses parents that refuse to listen, that refuse to budge to allow happiness to filter through for their child, then why bother? There's only so much effort one can exert before they must concede that, in the end, perhaps it's best to just have nothing to with them at all.

So, again. Ardyn's a little biased.]

Then bring it up when it isn't right. You'll do yourself a disservice if you don't.

And if the result isn't what you want it to be? At least then you /know/.

i dont know

maybe

[But if he brings it up, he's admitting defeat himself, isn't he? He's admitting that he can never be what they want him to be, can never stand up to the image of the son they'd wanted him to become? How can he look his father in the eyes and tell him that he'll never have the son he wanted, the son that maybe he might be able to love?

Bringing it up means giving up any chance he has at making his dad proud to have him for a son.]

but hearing it might be worse

whatever sorry you dont need to hear this ill shut up

["Hearing it might be worse". Ardyn thinks that's just something Dante will have to come to terms with, if that's the case. That the decision to ask, versus to simply to leave the question hanging in the air for years to come, is going to be a bridge to cross sometime in the future.

But there's no point in pushing the idea onto him today. It's merely his advice, and while he hopes Dante will consider it, he may choose to take it or leave it.

Ardyn definitely feels the need to clarify one thing, though, as always.]

I want to hear it, if you have something to say. You know you don't have to apologize.

[It's something Ardyn's told him multiple times by now, but it's never any less strange to see him say it. Why does Ardyn want to hear what he has to say? It's the same old stuff, time and time again... it's always stuff he's brought on himself, stuff he should face by himself.

And yet, Ardyn never stops making that offer.]

its

tough to believe, thats all

i'm still getting used to the idea

[The same reason why Ardyn will be so eager to heal injuries when he knows that'll only bring pain to himself. He is a man that can -- no, that wants to -- shoulder the burdens of others to make it easier for them. In a way that he doesn't show easily to others, he is... selfless, maybe. To the point of it being a flaw rather than a merit, if one really took the time to look at it.

And so the offer will always stand, as long as he remains this sort of man.]

You'll come around it soon, I hope. You won't have much of a choice, actually, given that I don't intend to relent.

Edited (LMFAO when you realize this thread actually started a month ago) 2017-06-18 19:30 (UTC)

[Why does that sound so ominous?]

you know normally i'd make some sort of remark about how that sounds like entrapment to me

but

okay

thanks, prof

Nothing ever so malicious, Dante.

You're welcome.

[He wishes only he could give him more reassuring advice, but some things are never so easy.]

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i'm so sorry, this got long and heavy...

my heart why....

you deserve this for hurting me with ardyn and prompto honestly

SCREECHES no one forced you to read ardyn and prompto

it EXISTED obviously i had no choice!!

rude

i'm glad you two are self-aware :')

:'(