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[Something about that explanation incites irritation in him, but it is not directed at Freya. Sometimes the very idea of Retrospec still feels like nails under his skin. Tossing memories and changes their way that disrupt their very lives, that throw both normalcy and happiness into question. Sometimes, he wonders if they’d all be better off remaining ignorant.

He faces uncertainty with each growing memory of his own. The fear of becoming who he once was, feeling that clawing sort of bitterness that the other him kept close in his chest. But Ardyn will be the first to admit that he has nothing at all to complain about, hearing her new situation. That she’s been given back an active curse, which is effectively a time limit. That she has no answers as to how to escape it, how to circumvent it. Where it even came from.

But that’s what she was here to talk about, wasn't it? He sets his jaw.]

Just because luck is not on your side, doesn’t mean that you should resign yourself to this fate. In every waking moment that you possess, you should not simply accept it. Not when there are so many questions left unanswered.

[There’s heat in Ardyn’s tone, at the indignity of it all. But his words remain even, controlled.]

Tell me all that you can possibly remember relating to it. Perhaps something will spark. You said that your purpose was to destroy an enemy settlement? Do you remember the name of it? Can you describe it at all?

[That gets her attention. Freya sucks in another deep breath, meeting his gaze.]

I'm not just lyin' down for this; that's why I'm here. Even if goin' soul searching's the only thing I can think to do, I'm doin' it. I need to. [Not just for herself, but for Pen. Her roommates. Her parents.]

[Freya's fingers curl into a fist and she glances away, at the corner.] ...That's part of the catch. I remember that much. Resignation? They [whoever "they" were] see that as quittin'. Losing your head or curling in a little ball, waiting to die... it makes the whole lot worse. Speeds it up.

[Yet another breath. Freya knows she has to keep a grip on her emotions, but it's hard, and her heart's seemed to be doing doubletime ever since she remembered that brand. She knows she's always been a brave (reckless) soul, but "restrained" isn't something that she's ever done well. And that other woman, in her memories? She grew up knowing about those kinds of people, the l'Cie. They and their cursed brands were a part of life. Freya's had to digest all this information in the last few days, and she had the feeling that new arrow on the mark wouldn't be there if she'd kept a steadier head about it.]

[But how else do you react to getting slapped in the face with a mortality that wasn't really yours?]

The place was called Cocoon. I... don't really know what it was, but it looked a lot like our moon. More silver, I guess, hung lower in the atmosphere, I think. A lotta these visions that I get? I can't string 'em together. I can only guess at what order they happen in. The only one I know for sure is the earliest one; some great big metal monster descended from Cocoon, and tore up handfuls of land and water to take back. Killed a lot of people. I... think it was part of some war.

[Something sparks in his eyes, shaped like immediately recognition.]

Cocoon… That was the name of the world Fynn mentioned to me. When he still remembered… all of this. He said that was where the other him was from.

[Ardyn swallows thickly, trying to sort all of this in his head. Fynn’s memories had been limited before he returned to a life that was more “normal” than what they now experienced. What Freya explains to him doesn’t sound like anything I remember.]

A metal monster? An actual monster, or something more like a warship?

I remember that. [Freya's said that more quietly than she'd been speaking. It'd been... disorienting, living through someone else's memories of staggering through the ruins of a massacred city, quite possibly the sole survivor, raw rage coiling in her chest... and then to see Fynn talking about how great and perfect Cocoon was. Freya still wasn't exactly sure how to process that, so she didn't.]

Oh, it was a monster, alright. Reached straight into the mountains like digging in a sandbox. Didn't give a damn what came tumbling down.

[Freya took a deep breath, scrubbing a hand through their hair. They were getting off-topic, and even though she's had these memories for almost a year, they still brought up all her other self's emotional baggage.]

That's all I've got about the place for sure. All the other visions, I'm not sure where she is or when they happen. I can take a guess about a few.

[He shook his head, running fingers through his own wild hair.]

I’m sure I don’t need to say it, but it sounds like war. For power? Resources?

[A monster coming down and tearing up the land to take back to Cocoon. It did sound rather like it.]

My memories are also tangled up and out of order, so I understand the frustration. And my guesses are only as good as yours, but perhaps do you think she was some sort of soldier? One that whoever created this… curse, thought that she was expendable once her purpose had been achieved?

[Freya starts to say something, but abruptly stops.]

[“Human lives? They’re nothing but orphans. The only reason they take care of orphans is so they can become l’Cie. There is no other way to use them.”]

[Her teeth click as her jaw snaps shut, clenched, and her hands ball into white-knuckled fists. Freya stands suddenly, nearly knocking over the chair in the process, irately pacing to another part of the room.]

Yeah, that's exactly what it was. [She almost growls the words. A part of her knew it was dangerous to get this worked up, considering the brand, but it wasn't exactly easy to extinguish the sudden betrayal and bitterness that wasn't hers.] Good little expendable weapons. No wonder she wasn't exactly torn up about watchin' the world burn.

[He's almost surprised by her reaction, but perhaps more so caught off guard by how immediately correct he was.

(Of course, though, it shouldn't be surprising. The MTs, remember? he tells himself. They were the same. You'd come to this conclusion because that's once how you thought, as well. You helped create them.)

Ardyn's jaw clenches, and he nearly stands when Freya does, unsure if he should try to calm that newfound agitation swelling through her.]

It seems to be a theme across worlds; though that makes it no less comforting for you. Do you remember anything else?

[Breath hisses through her teeth, and Freya raises both hands to run them through her hair again.]

...some flying old guy. Her was givin' some big speech about my Focus--that task. Said I'd forgotten all about it, and me or one of the others there had to become some monster called Ragnarok to wreck Cocoon.

I... think he was right. Had another vision, back at the start, of waking up somewhere I'd never seen, feelin' like I was missing something important. That someone else was gonna suffer if I didn't remember. I think someone else's got this same mark I do.

So then you suffered from something like amnesia?

[The parallels between then and now keep growing. Missing memories, leaving them questioning everything 24/7.]

And I assume you've not met anyone with a similar mark, else you would've mentioned it earlier.

[He leaves off there for now, giving her time to reply, while he mulls this over quite ardently in his mind.]

Guess so. No better explanation.

[After a quiet moment, Freya sighs, shaking her head.]

...no one with something like this. Don't think I could forget something so unique. Never seen one of those monsters out and about, either, 'cept in the October fog, so don't think anyone else with it's run outta time.

Then it's hardly fair that you should carry the burden of this curse with no way of fulfilling it.

[Not that it's truly fair either way. Fulfilling it meant, what? Turning into stone?]

Is it too much to hope that it is defunct? Inactive? [What do you plan to do? is the question that hangs delicately in the air between them.]

...guess that's all I can do. Got the powers this thing is supposed to grant long before it showed up, so who knows? Maybe the monster won't for a while. But... it's been ticking away, slowly. Changing.

[Freya shakes her head and runs a hand through her hair once more, turning around and leaning against the wall, glancing up at Ardyn.]

This is all I've got, Ardyn. [She pauses, swallowing, and it's difficult not breathing harder than usual.] Tryin' to remember something that could help, not... some two-faced priests, a stupid poem, and a rant about how bad turnin' into one of these things is.

[Freya glances passed him, at the corner of the room.] If I had any shot at this? If that Cocoon or whatever really was around? I think I'd try. I remember those things, Ardyn--the Cie'th. I don't--I don't want to be one of those.

[Ardyn brings up a hand to rub at the back of his neck. He wishes there was something to be done, but this Cocoon did not exist here. And her “purpose” — to destroy a settlement — was hard to condone, despite the fate that awaited her if she did not. All of her memories thus far have not indicated anything that could possibly help her out of this situation.

The feeling of helplessness encroaches again, and there is very little that he hates more.]

…In my world, there was something that could change people into monsters. It was an illness, not a… curse, not really, but the parallels are difficult to ignore. There was very little that could be done about it, though there was very specific healing magic that could transfer it from one person to another. I possessed that magic; and I do once more.

[He gestures to her, eyes scanning her face.]

My meaning is that there are other people here, with abilities from different worlds, that might have a solution to your problem. A bit of research to be done, a bit of reaching out to see if anyone has any idea what to do. The experiences here are vast, and literally multiversal.

[A pause.]

This would, of course, require you to tell others about your predicament. Not keep it only to yourself and… I.

[She meets his gaze, listening and considering every word of it. Ardyn has a point. She didn't really know the nature of the mark, so perhaps...]

[Freya breathes out, tilting her head towards the ceiling.]

Yeah. Guess so. I know a couple people better connected than I am. I'll ask if they've got any bright ideas. But... in the event this doesn't pan out? I don't want to just throw this around on the app. Can't stand the thought of how everyone'd treat me if they all knew.

I understand.

[He has memories of his own that he doesn't necessarily want floating about on the app, but for reasons different than her own.]

...Eventually, though, those close to you will have to know. I realize it isn't my place to say that, but...

[He trails off.]

Yeah, yeah, don't you worry.

[Freya scrubs a hand through her hair, needing something to do with the anxious energy coiled in her chest.]

My girlfriend'd have my head if I kept it from her. Just not gonna go post on the internet, "Hey, guess what! I'm dying! Woo!" [She waves her hands sarcastically and does a little voice to go with it.]

[But they drop back to her sides with a sigh, her gaze dropping to the carpet, and Freya has to swallow around a lump in her throat.]

...Thanks, Ardyn. I know I'm askin' a lot, dragging you into this.

RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

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Not the regain I was expecting from this thread but I'm not complaining

ahaha happy to help!

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