daemonized | RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

They weren't.

[this was intentional, she can tell. she can't tell what did it, but these scars, she'd be willing to bet that almost all of them were intentional. long healed, but...]

Let me check your back.

[they both know who did this. what did this. out of nowhere, what could happen. but best to see how extensive this all is.]

[He hesitates for a moment, as if he’s afraid of what she might find on his back. His brain makes a cursory check of what his body feels — no pain, nothing different. He should take solace in that, but it’s difficult in the wake of a new discovery like this.

He drops his hand, nodding. After the both of them situate themselves so that they can move more freely on the bed, Ardyn turns around.

His back looks much the same. There is not one that looked like it had been a deep gouge over the heart, but there seem to be even more scars in general here.]

Anything…?

[so, so lightly, she traces over a few of them, taking in the extent of the damage. someone - something - wanted to hurt him, that's the only conclusion she can draw. and that mark on his heart, so targeted. perhaps there should be some comfort in them being healed, but she can't find it.]

There's more here. How do you feel?

[a standard question after any change, but her voice is soft. does he hurt? does he remember anything from these?]

[The gentle tracing of her fingertips almost makes him shiver. Especially when he thinks of how she must be following the trail of his scarring — he wonders how prominent they look. He wonders what could have done such a thing to him, to the other him.]

They don’t hurt, if that’s what you’re referring to. I would not have noticed them at all, until I looked in a mirror.

[Long healed and faded, then. Pale lines across his skin, a ghost to remind him of a past that still evaded him completely.]

Perhaps they are… injuries sustained during my travels. [He frowns.] That man was a traveling healer, after all, and I do remember there being fearsome monsters in my world.

Perhaps.

[but she doesn't sound convinced. these scars are such that she wonders as to their origins, when she's seen cuts that are so straight. so lethal, in other conditions.

if it was a monster, maybe it would make it better. instead she bows her head to one of the scars, kissing it as gently as she had touched it.

it's alright.]

[The sensation of her lips on his back is a small comfort. But it only makes him want to shift around to face her -- he does, half-turning his body so that she catches his profile when he glances back to look at Grell.

He's no fool. He hears the skepticism in her tone. He knows what the alternative may be.]

What do you think it's from?

[At the end of the day, she's the doctor.]

Something sharp. A degree of precision, but not delicate. I've seen knife wounds like this - couldn't tell you what made these though, it could be a lot of things with this result given how you healed. And...

[she reaches to touch his heart again.]

This...collection is puncture. Stabbing, if I was forced to guess.

[The silence grew thick between them, almost tangible. It was uncomfortable, and so Ardyn turned to face her properly. Though he was oblivious to the scars not a minute ago, now they felt like brands cast across his form.]

You're telling me that all this was done purposefully.

[His own hand reaches up to gently rest on hers.]

That someone tried to kill me.

That...is my first instinct, yes. Maybe not all at once, you said you did travel, perhaps you ran into fighting in your land. But some of this...it points to someone trying to kill you.

[the frown on her face deepens, and she almost wishes she had just agreed that monsters could have done it.]

Why, we don't know. All you can do is wait for illumination.

[Again, he runs two fingers against the path of a scar that traces along his chest. He trusts Grell’s judgement, but that did not make it much more comforting for him — to be told that someone did this to him purposefully, that this was no unfortunate accident that left scarring across his body. (Maybe it isn’t as bad as it seems, his mind whispers. Maybe it was bandits, maybe it was being in the wrong place in the wrong time. Travels in a strange world such as the one he remembered had its dangers, and that other him was more than willing to risk them. At the time, that version of himself was selfless person, giving and giving until he could give no more. It made sense he would stumble upon trouble at some point.

And yet—

And yet something tells him that these are faded scars are more poignant than that. The way some are so very situated above his heart — that was not just a wish to end his life, that was cruelty.)]

I’m not… [His fingers curl into the blankets, and his eyes dart around her face, as if answers lie there.] I’m not sure that’s a memory I ever wish to experience.

[He cannot hope to imagine the pain of it. It sends a tendril of fear coiling around his heart at the very idea.]

[she sees the look in his eyes, and it makes her heart ache. her hands cradle his head, making him look at her. don't go down that path. don't get lost in memories that don't even exist. look at her, she wants to say, and stay present.

they cannot predict what they will remember. but whatever he does, she'll be there.]

[Grounding. Her touch is always grounding, always centering him. Her hands cradling his head chases away fear, to replace it with something calming. Something that allows him to breathe again, when he hadn’t realized how he had been holding air in, kept locked in his lungs. With a shuddering release, Ardyn exhales, his eyes focusing on her own. His hand unclenches, laying flat on the blankets instead.

Here, now, he has her. He tells himself this a hundred times in the breadth of a second; he has Grell, no matter what memories might descend upon him, and after they do, after they inflict fear and pain upon his person, she will still be waiting for him on the other side.

As long as he has her, that’s all Ardyn needs.]

I’m sorry, I…

[The tension within him begins to unwind by small degrees, but at least it’s steady progress into calming himself. He forces the weakest of smiles onto his face, a little self-deprecating.]

I suppose I’m not very flattering to look at now, am I?

Nonsense.

[she smiles, though it's tinged with that worry.]

You're as handsome as ever. Leaving me quite breathless, heart all aflutter.

[He smiles wider, his eyes a little brighter than before. Ardyn leans into her touch, and while his worry has not completely washed away, he feels better hearing that.]

As long as my estimation hasn’t been lowered in your eyes, then that’s all that matters.

[He moves his hands to rest at her sides, much like they did before, but now it’s a gentler touch.]

I’ll take comfort in knowing that this scarring can always be covered up, in the meanwhile.

[that he can do considering his typical fashion. but that notwithstanding, some scars aren't going to lower her view of him. never. the only way she can voice that is by moving just a touch closer, to kiss him and let that be all that she feels. she kisses him, and she hopes he can feel what she does.]

[That kiss is answer enough. He feels wreathed in the warmth it grants him; a kiss soft and gentle and oddly electric.

His only response then is to pull her closer, hands at her back, returning it. His body against hers, scars and all, even if in this passing moment, he feels like nothing has changed. And between them, nothing has — I love you, resonates within the affection. Thank you, just as much.]

[touch is all she needs, to know that he's listening. nothing has changed. so he has scars now - so she'll help him invent stories to go behind each one, and make them not an object of fear. she'll kiss each and every one, and not shy away from them.

I'm here. I love you. as her hands tangle in his hair and she keeps herself right there, right up against him, they don't need to speak to know those truths.]

[Her fingers threading through his hair is only more reassurance, only more encouragement for him to push thoughts of scars and pain and unknown remembrances from his mind. Ardyn wants to feel the way he did when he awoke, greeted by her face -- immeasurably fortunate, happy, believing that being by her side feels like home. And he can go back to feeling that way if he allows it. He only needs to lose himself in her touch and kiss.

They remain like that for a moment longer, just sitting up in bed in a half-embrace, half-entanglement. Eventually, when Ardyn has to pull away to breathe, he takes the moment of respite to lean back, lying back down on the bed. But his arms bring her with him, and he smiles when he looks at her again.]

Tell me that you'll remain by my side forever.

[It's been said before, many times between them. But this Sunday morning will not be ruined by scars on his skin; he'll not let it. He wants to fill his heart with these promises again.]

[she nods, settling into the new position, and taking the breath she needed to do so.]

Forever.

[it was still a frightening, heavy word, but day by day they proved it. day by day they faced what came. forever could be composed of many a day, one after the other. her heart in his chest. little by little she was losing her fear, tiny bit by bit.]

["Forever" is the word that started so much between them. The net that was cast out and pulled them into true, beautiful commitment. It is not as frightening to Ardyn as it is to Grell, but as always, he is not oblivious regarding her own insecurities. And moments like these, in which she still tells him "forever" despite it all, makes him feel an indelible, unending gratitude towards her very existence. He is indebted to her in a way that he can never repay -- he can only try to make her as happy as she makes him.

He draws her close. Nestles himself next to her, smiling faintly.]

What a beautiful notion.

[Even forever doesn't sound long enough to contain his love, so deeply it runs.]

...We should sleep in for a little longer. Though... ha, maybe you'd like to put my shirt on again?

[she shifts for a moment, enough to grab the edge of some of the blankets, and pulls them up to cover both of them somewhat before going back to where she was.]

You'll keep me warm enough.

[simple fact. if they actually slept or just rested together like this until it was time to move again, it would be all the same.]

[Covered up and this close, it should be enough. He slips an arm around her, and without any hesitation, draws close enough to kiss her deeply again.

That’s his answer — yes, he intends to keep her warm.]

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