daemonized | RECOLLE IC CONTACT.

[It's the first he's heard of anything like that. He knew that Souji and Yu shared similar memories, but something this serious, with such a wildly different end? It was jarring just to hear it, and he cannot possibly imagine how Yu feels about it right now.

Memories of being unsuccessful, in losing a loved one. Even in normal circumstances, it would be enough to question oneself. But dealing with past lives made everything too complicated, too disjointed. He exhales without realizing it as he turns this over in his head.]

I'm sorry.

[Weak words that don't sound like nearly enough.]

However... you made different decisions than that of your brother, I assume. And though the outcome was not as favorable, that does not make you a "wrong" version. Only a more... tragic one. Yet valid all the same.

I suppose that doesn't help with the grief much, though, does it?

[ It's an unusual situation, isn't it? And he knows it. The only other pair of twins he knows of in the city -- Dave and Rose -- don't have anything like this, as far as he knows. Can anyone else in this city... be said to be a living copy of another person? A bad copy, at that?

Something in his chest wrenches, and to try and quiet it, he takes another sip of cocoa. His jaw flexes once again, but his face remains carefully composed. ]

... doesn't it?

[ a whisper. ]

The person they remember... it's not me. It's Souji. It's only ever been Souji.

[ there's a kind of hollowness to the words. ]

... at least he was able to save her.

[ the hurt in him runs so deep. ]

[He's silent for a moment, hurting for Yu as he hurts, as well. Something sinking to the bottom of his stomach like a stone, and the want to help screams so loudly in him, though he has no outlet to release it. It was a strange situation, one that was without precedent.

While his mind wrenches words together, he stands and moves to sit next to Yu on the couch. He offers a hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly.]

Yu... you can't feel responsible for what your other self did or did not do. You have no bearing over that, you're being impossibly unfair and hard on yourself.

[(Hypocrite. Ardyn is such a hypocrite.)]

You're as real as your brother. You're as valid as your brother. Memories be damned.

[ Yu glances up with Ardyn sits beside him, and in this brief moment of being caught off guard, the pain on his face is so raw.

Quickly he ducks his head and wipes his expression clean, setting the cocoa down on the table in front of him with a sigh. Old habits die hard. For as much as he's improved over the past year, he still defaults to hiding everything he feels beneath his skin. ]

... if the lives in these memories are real, then ... everyone except me is from that life. The life that Souji did right.

[ Another pause, and then he looks at Ardyn again, the smallest hints of fear in the furrows of his brow. ]

What would happen to me if we all went back to those lives?

[ would he be stranded in a dead timeline

a dead universe

made of his own mistakes? ]

[He's still, frozen for a moment. What would happen to me if we all went back to those lives? What would happen to any of them? He couldn't say. And even for Yu's benefit, he could not bring himself to bring false reassurances to him. To lie to him.]

There is nothing to say that we must go back to those lives. That it's even the route that is expected from us.

[It's the best he can offer, and it feels like not enough. Ardyn can already see how Yu's retreated into his own skin.]

Yu... I made choices in my past life that I'm not particularly proud of, either. But it's important for me to look forward, to focus on this one, else I'd never claw my way out of my own head. The same goes for you.

Expected from us...

[ A soft repetition.

... maybe ... it's not ...

Yu eventually looks up, his brow furrowed. There's concern there, and it's not for himself. ]

I'm ... sorry if I brought up painful memories for you. ... I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. [ With a faint, humorless smile. ] For a long time I've been telling my friends that we choose who we wish to be. I should take my own advice, shouldn't I?

[ A slow shake of his head. At the very least ... he's visibly calmer. Ardyn's words have had an affect on him. ]

It's just ... very jarring, to have memories that disagree with everything you believe in.

[He shakes his head, making a gesture with his hand to indicate sweeping a certain notion away. No, he doesn't want Yu to begin to worry about him; that's the last thing he desires.]

You didn't bring up anything difficult for me, nephew. Don't worry yourself, I can deal with them quite well on my own. But I understand what you mean -- that such advice is easily given, but more difficult to adhere to when it happens to you, isn't it?

[He can also relate to that in many ways.]

Just think of how sincere you are when you tell others the same. How you trust that you can choose who you wish to be, even with all these memories. That is equivalent to my faith in you, tenfold that.

[He offers a weak smile.]

Perhaps we should look at these remembrances as blessings. A stark reminder of what we don't want to be like. Of how we don't want things to end. Motivation, in its clearest form.

[ His smile flickers across his face again, with a little more feeling than before. "Do as I say, not as I do" is an all too easy mindset to slip into. But it makes Yu's heart squeeze to know that Ardyn feels that way, too.

In the end he's mostly quiet, sighing as he runs a hand through his hair. He feels like he can't deny his uncle's words, especially when they seem to apply to him too, but it's hard to make himself believe it. ]

... motivation is a good way to look at it, [ he says in the end, with his own weak smile. It's not much, but it's still at least some measure of progress. The edge of panic has left him completely, and how he simply seems tired. ]

I ... would it be alright if I stayed here for a few days? I need to talk to Souji about this, but I...

[ ...

he's just not ready for that conversation yet. ]

[Even an inch of progress is better than none at all — he can’t hope for his words to dissipate Yu’s uncertainties so easily. This was not a matter so simply discarded. But that smile, faint as it is, gives him hope. Provides him with some comfort, knowing that he can still make his nephew grin — even weakly — so that he does not feel so alone in what he faces. That he has his family, his uncle, to lean on if he chooses to. That Ardyn is ready and willing to help and talk about all of this, any time.

So of course he just nods at the request.]

Of course you can. You needn’t even ask, really. I’ll even be so kind as to provide you with the guest room, instead of letting you sleep on the couch. Your uncle is generous like that.

[He jokes, airy.]

Stay as long as you need. And know that you don’t have to figure this all out by yourself. It’s a process for all of us, Yu, and we’ll crack and break if we try to do it alone.

How thoughtful, [ he murmurs, with a shadow of his normal humor. ] I'll repay your kindness by cooking dinner for us each night. [ this part he means.

His smile fades after that, and he runs a hand through his hair. ]

... could -- Yosuke stay, as well? He's ... I'll need him. [ raw and soft and a little unsure. it's frightening to need someone, and so reassuring to know that they're there. ]

[It's good to hear that humor thread back into the conversation. It means that something is shifting back to normal, which is rare these days.]

Of course he can. He is just as welcome to stay for as long as either of you require, as well.

[He grins lightly.] All the more people to help take care of the cats.

[ A ghost of a smile. ]

The more the merrier.

[ Yu's really not sure if things are going to be okay. Right now, it doesn't really feel like they will be.

But he tries to convince himself, anyway. Because ... because, at least he has someone in his corner no matter what.

Someone who has the same fears he does... ]

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