daemonized | EL NYSA IC INBOX.

[He wonders if he's feeling generous enough to entertain this conversation. It is true that X'rhun asks out of curiosity, a desire to understand. But the prophecy, that destiny that he fell into by way of trying to avoid it, forever remains something that sticks bitterly at his spirit.

But he humors him, for now. There was no harm in enlightenment, though Ardyn's grin has become a bit facetious at this point. He recites something from the Cosmogony, without missing a single beat.]

'O'er rotted Soil, under blighted sky,
A dread Plague the Wicked hath wrought.
In the Light of the Gods, Sword-Sworn at his Side
'Gainst the Dark the King's Battle is fought.
From the Heavens high, to the Blessed below,
Shines the Beam of a Peace long besought.
Long live thy Line, and this Stone divine,
For the Night when All comes to Naught.'

[He hums a little, a sound of satisfaction coming from his throat.]

The Starcourge, as I told you before, is something that plagued all of Eos -- but this was not a new development. Millennia ago, it existed. Its spread was finally delayed, quelled for a time, the darkness receding in that ancient age long past. But the Astrals, the gods, they knew it would return. That at some point, darkness would once more encroach upon the land, and so they granted my star the Crystal, an ancient artifact that dispels the dark with its light and immeasurable magic.

And to guard the Crystal, a family line, chosen to found the kingdom of Lucis, to become its royalty. To eventually... [He can't help but laugh here, again.] To eventually produce a True King, a Chosen King, that would fight against the darkness when it returned. One that would finally destroy the Starscourge and the avatar of it, at the expense of their own life.

But why wait for the Prophecy to fulfill itself, when there was healing to be done? When I could end the pain of others, stop their transformations into daemons, one individual at a time? Even if it meant taking in that darkness into myself, I would do so. Just to help my people — I wanted nothing more. But when it came time to ascend to the throne, as a proper Lucis Caelum should, I was denied because of that corruption alive in me. Called impure of heart and soul, and by workings of gods and family alike, I was exiled from my home. From everything that I cared about.

[It was like having his heart ripped from his chest. It did so much more damage than anything the Starscourge had twisted him into. This, he knows.]

In trying to aid the Light, I became Darkness. I wonder, sometimes, if that was always what I was meant for. That my good intentions were only the moving pieces of a great, cosmic joke, and that I was always destined to be crushed under the heel of fate. But it didn’t matter any longer, I had a part to play, and motivation to see it through to the end.

[Sometime during all of this, Ardyn's body had grown taut. Tense. Only when he's finished does it seem to uncoil, slowly.]

Is that explanation enough?

Edited 2018-03-06 20:14 (UTC)

[ Despite how weary he had seemed when he first opened the door, X’rhun listens now with rapt attention, blue eyes locked on Ardyn as he tells his tale.

He once drew similarities between Ardyn and Arya, the pupil that still lays asleep on the Natha’s station. The girl with the blood of a voidsent in her veins. At the time, he hadn’t known just how on the nose that comparison was, but where Arya was able to break free of the shackles of her fate, Ardyn is a prisoner to it still. He wonders, if there had been but one soul to reach out to Ardyn, to care, would the story have been rewritten?

It’s useless, wondering about that now when this tale has been thousands of years in the telling already. ]

I did not expect you to be so forthright, actually. So, thank you.

[ It throws some things into perspective. The long and dark history of Ardyn Izunia is much darker and longer than he can truly fathom. It’s more than even Prompto probably knows. ]

I imagine, then, you spent your very long life waiting for this “true king”, and for the prophecy to come to pass. I also imagine this time wasn’t spent idly.

[It was forthcoming, but the deepest, most painful truths lay hidden. That is how Ardyn would prefer it, always.

But one thing is obvious: at this point, X'rhun knows more than Prompto, though he thinks that's not saying much, for Ardyn always kept everyone in the dark until it was convenient for him.]

A truth for a truth. It is only fair that if Prompto tells you what he knows, that I do the same. Now you may let it coalesce together in your mind, so that you can come to the same conclusion -- that it will be impossible for you to overlook the lives that I took, the way the world writhed and slowly died in the dark, regardless of what pity you might feel. Keep it to yourself, X'rhun. I have no need for it.

[But the other man's words imply more explanation, and Ardyn deigns to give it.] Much of my time spent in Eos was that of a wanderer. Biding my time. I only joined Niflheim once I knew the chosen king was soon to be born.

[Easy to judge, when the state of the Starscourge could be measured with a thought. How it grew and desperately wanted to rise up, to fulfill what it existed to do.]

So yes, I waited. And now, I still wait. He sleeps in a pod, high above our heads now. Prompto's friend, you see.

[ He has things he’d like to say, about the lives that lay lost at Ardyn’s feet and what that means to him – what that means for them, but the conversation marches onward, and he would rather give that the moment it deserves.

On the subject of Prompto’s friend, however… ]

What would you do, were he to wake?

There is nothing for me to do. Make his life difficult, perhaps, because it amuses me?

[But he cannot kill him. Noctis would be that small, sliver of hope that if things could go back to the way they were, maybe... maybe he could continue down the path he walked once before.]

He's been awake before, but not as I remember him last. Ten years younger, just like Prompto. Useless, weak. Not fit to fight me, not even close to becoming a king. He would die in an instant.

I cannot begin to wrap my head around how it is that there is a ten-year gap between you and everyone else, though I have experienced such a phenomenon myself, among those from mine own star.

[ Some unfathomable effect of the Storm, some quirk of the Natha. Paltry explanations at best, but he figures that the real reason is just as incomprehensible to him. ]

So, did you not get to confront him before Eos was lost?

No.

[Oh, there's that wave of bitterness again. Reminding him of how close he was to finally achieving what he wanted, after so many long years.]

He was to confront me in the Citadel's throne room. In the interim, I had summoned Ifrit to keep him busy, but-- well. Here we are now.

Thousands of years of waiting, all for naught.

[ He can't fathom what that must be like, either. ]

Ifrit, though? Funny, you're not the first person here to have told me they summoned a god -- Astral, Primal, whatever you wish to call it.

[All for naught. Yes, he's gotten to the core of the issue, though it's obvious enough with the explanation that Ardyn's given him.

His brow arches at that last bit, however.]

And who else here has summoned a god before?

[Not that he should be particularly surprised. Anything goes, really, when it comes to the other refugees of this place.]

Someone from home – [ he says it simply, spreading his hands. ] – summoned a Primal in an act of desperation. The whole of their story is not mine to tell, so I will leave it at that.

We remain friends, however.

[A little tidbit to be stored away for later, but not so prominent in his mind that he will press for the entire story.]

And you and I? Do you still call me friend after what you now know?

[ And here they are, at the true crux of the matter. X’rhun sighs, rests his elbows on the table to lace his fingers together in front of his face. ]

I am well aware of what you’ve just laid in front of me. It is as if I find myself sitting across from the Elder Primal himself, left to judge him for the destruction he has wrought.

[ And indeed, the comparison to Bahamut is not terribly far-fetched. ]

There is no denying your many sins, the lives you took in the name of vengeance or prophecy or whatever else, the pain you have caused, but in the end… your judgement is not mine to give. I do not like the things you have done, as you can imagine. To learn of all this… it makes me sad, makes me angry, but to cast you away seems wrong.

And I know, I know, you think I look at you and see some pitiable wretch, a monster, a puppet pulled along helplessly by the strings of fate and that I feel sorry for you. I don’t. I look at you and I see a man worth trying to save. I’d not have leapt in front of you if I thought otherwise.

Edited 2018-03-07 21:32 (UTC)

[He watches X'rhun, and his lips press into a thin line as he hears the other say that he is a man worth trying to save. That he is not pitied, but rather viewed as something salvageable, as if there was anything still left in that dark mire that is himself.

He isn't sure what wells up first. Exasperation, frustration, anger? A prickling of regret, as sharp as broken glass, jutting up in the wreckage of it all? Hate, even -- hate directed at his circumstances, both of the past and now. Irritation at the naiveté being tossed his way, the push and pull of others not being able to understand, and Ardyn unwilling to fully explain.

He hates all of it. He hates that he lives in a universe where he cannot rest, where he must keep existing as this awful thing, he hates himself for being cursed in this way, he wishes he could turn back the hands of time and just crush Eos into nothing, even before Noctis was born. At least, then, something would have been accomplished. More than just wallowing in a world that wasn't his, suspended in an oppressive limbo, while everyone else moved on without him.]

Then you're a fool. All of you are.

[He thinks of Prompto, his implications about humanity and how he had called it ridiculous. It was ridiculous. It still is.]

There is nothing worth saving. The sooner you realize that, the easier it will be for you.

I know well my own foolishness. You don’t have to tell me.

[ He is the sort of fool who believes in the good of others, who believes that no one is not worth saving. Who would fling himself in front of an immortal man to shield him. ]

What I don’t understand is you. You lied to me to, what? Prolong the inevitable? Now here I am, telling you that this is not the end you thought it to be, and you’re still pushing.

[Another assessment from X'rhun that is deadly accurate. Get too close to his core, and Ardyn knows not how to react, other than to push away. He hates being vulnerable, he always wants to be in control, in all things -- in information revealed, in leading a conversation to and fro. In his own level of comfort, which is beginning to wane in this little visit.]

Yes. To prolong the inevitable. We had fun, didn't we? Our quaint little chats, our daring adventures together. There was amusement to be found in that, I admit.

[Leave it to Ardyn to water it down into something as impersonal as "amusement".]

You may not see it, X'rhun, but it is an end. Because I ask you this -- if you want to continue to garner friendship between us, what is it that you expect from me?

[He cannot deliver it, he's sure.]

[ X’rhun’s brows knit together for a moment, ears pricking curiously. To hear it called “amusement” and little more stings a bit, truth be told, but he doubts that’s the whole of it. Another push. Another attempt at distance. ]

Just what do you think I would expect of you? I’m not asking you to move mountains for me, Ardyn. Was there something wrong with what we were doing before?

Edited 2018-03-08 03:41 (UTC)

No. Not wrong, exactly.

[There was nothing wrong with exploring, with talking, with simply being overly dramatic together. In truth, Ardyn had enjoyed it -- though he is many things, not all of them flattering, one thing that had not changed in a couple thousand years has been his sense of humor. He could indulge in it, in a shred of inanity, around X'rhun. It was a fine sort of distraction at the time.

But now-]

But knowing who I am, what I've done, you'll treat me the same as before? Do not think that'll be the case. There will be expectation from you now, I think, that I be better than what I am. I do not have it in me to give that.

[He wonders if he even has a willingness to.]

To say that I don’t look at you differently now would be a lie, but by that same token, I have had an inkling of what you are for a while now. You left me plenty of pieces, and I had but to put them together.

[ The sum of those parts, the whole that he is now faced with has surpassed his own expectations, true, but that does not mean it was wholly a surprise, either. And he has also been piecing together what few scattered bits he can in this conversation, as well. The things that Ardyn isn’t saying.

If he truly wanted an end to this… whatever it is, he’d have ended it himself instead of waiting for X’rhun to sever those ties.

He heaves a sigh, lifting his mug to his lips finally, only to discover the contents has gone lukewarm and he wrinkles his nose, setting it aside. ]

I have heard what I need to hear, from you and Prompto both, and I have made my choice, stubborn and foolish as it may be. From where I am, whatever it is that we have built remains standing. Should it crumble into dust, you may have the pleasure of saying “I told you so”.

Until then, I will call you friend.

[The frown only deepens. Only Ardyn Izunia would practically scowl at the idea of a friend remaining steadfast and refusing to give up on him so easily. But he can only see it as a waste of time, now that the truth is out. A way of just delaying the inevitable further.

He's sure that he'll be saying "I told you so" sooner rather than later.

Still, to Ardyn's credit, he gives no voice to these thoughts. If X'rhun wanted to try, then let him try. He would not change himself for the sake of someone else, no matter how pleasurable their company might be.]

Very well. If that is the path you choose to take. Simply do not be surprised when you discover it only leads directly off of a high cliff.

[A muscle in his jaw twitches, but he already knows what he wishes to say next.]

Did you mention my healing you to Prompto?

[He doesn't wish to really speak of it, but this is something he feels like he needs to know.]

[ It seems to X’rhun that this was the most peaceful way to end the conversation – he dares not push too much for fear that Ardyn will only push back harder. Better to admit to playing the fool than to call Ardyn out for wanting him to make the first move. ]

I mentioned that you had helped me, though I did not go into detail. Your tale remains yours to tell or to keep, as you see fit.

...Good.

[That is a tale that he is not ready to share with hardly anyone, though if Prompto knew how to coax and prod in just the right way, Ardyn might be inclined to speak of it. But he doubts the boy can utilize words like tools, in the same manner that he can.]

The boy has- [He pauses, wondering if he wants to even say this much, be continues anyway.] He's been particularly stubborn about talk of humanity and the like. I do not need you to share that tale with him just so he can make implications all day long.

Implications that you are something other than what you are, you mean?

[ Ardyn has already made it quite clear that he would change for no one, and he’s aware that Prompto can sometimes wield words with all the grace of a brick to the face, so he’s not too surprised to learn that Ardyn finds it bothersome. ]

Rest assured, I don’t intend to go blabbing about you to everyone I know. I assume these things were shared with me in confidence, and I will keep to that.

Exactly that.

[Wielding words with the grace of a brick to the face is right. Prompto often just comes out and says what's on his mind, so different than Ardyn, who picks and chooses at them carefully.]

And in that case, then I suppose there's nothing more to say on the matter. I should let you return to having some time to yourself. You look like you could use the rest.

That bad, am I?

[ He gives a small smile, but it’s a weary thing. ]

Very well, then. Thank you for hearing me out, at the very least.

I wouldn't call it bad. Just an unfortunate side-effect of mortality.

[And with that, he rises to his feet, that usual smile on his face. Gone back to his default manner, it would appear.]

You know where to find me, X'rhun.

[And Ardyn will see himself out, unless otherwise interrupted.]

EL NYSA IC INBOX.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject