[Yes, it hurts. She curls her fingers, her nails brushing against her palm. It hurts so badly, every night, every day, something she's painfully aware of no matter what she's doing. It invades her dreams and creeps up on her when she least expects it, and yet she's grown almost used to it. Like a bruise, or a trick knee; it's simply a part of her now, something she ignores because there's nothing she can do for it.
She's silent for a few seconds, and then:]
. . . but no. I don't believe you've wronged me. Certainly not the way Dorian and Richie do. You told me when we made that pact what I was going to get. Dorian imagines that I'm . . . I'm some kind of starry-eyed girl, following you around and getting nothing while giving you everything in return, and Richie--
[Well, anyway.]
I think . . . I think you do get something out of it, something more than just my powers. I think it's almost an experiment for you, seeing someone far younger go through the same things you did once. But I also believe you would lift it from me whenever I asked you to, albeit in a smug sort of way.
I told you that you couldn't handle it, I assume you'd tell me, and use that to prove your own martyrdom. You'd once again be assured that no one could ever understand you . . . and I think that above all is why I'm going to keep it for the moment.
no subject
[Yes, it hurts. She curls her fingers, her nails brushing against her palm. It hurts so badly, every night, every day, something she's painfully aware of no matter what she's doing. It invades her dreams and creeps up on her when she least expects it, and yet she's grown almost used to it. Like a bruise, or a trick knee; it's simply a part of her now, something she ignores because there's nothing she can do for it.
She's silent for a few seconds, and then:]
. . . but no. I don't believe you've wronged me. Certainly not the way Dorian and Richie do. You told me when we made that pact what I was going to get. Dorian imagines that I'm . . . I'm some kind of starry-eyed girl, following you around and getting nothing while giving you everything in return, and Richie--
[Well, anyway.]
I think . . . I think you do get something out of it, something more than just my powers. I think it's almost an experiment for you, seeing someone far younger go through the same things you did once. But I also believe you would lift it from me whenever I asked you to, albeit in a smug sort of way.
I told you that you couldn't handle it, I assume you'd tell me, and use that to prove your own martyrdom. You'd once again be assured that no one could ever understand you . . . and I think that above all is why I'm going to keep it for the moment.
I haven't given up on that quest.